CRUMP 2024, man!

Y'all.

Do you remember when this happened? I would say, "Poor Paul Winton," but I think he loved it even more than I did. And I had a BALL messing with people that year. He was the only person to get the red word joke without some kind of prompt.

McPhistos:
you'll be lovin it

Menu page 1: Mission statements and such

Menu page 2, broke down by type of food. Normal people menu on the right.
CRUMP 2024, man! Comin' soon to a McPHISTO'S near you right quick. Woo boy!

Others, not so much. See, this is what happened:

Troubled by 2016 primary options.

I voted anyway.

Stage makeup is cool.

Hey man! I'm Cody Crump!

The undelivered punchline!

Here's the deal: I have a weird sense of humor that never hurts anyone unless you count feelings, which (let's be honest) can get unbruised pretty goddamn fast if we chill and allow them to.

Example: I've never had one, but I'll bet you ANYTHING a burger made of sacred cow, cheese made from its mother's milk, topped with thick crispy slabs of the Norse pig-god Gullinbursti and would be the best goddamn thing ever. Or maybe that's a nonsense statement.

Nonsense statements are like comedy. They are comedy usually. Unless I am tired as hell, they are when I make them. I put all non-comedy, non-exhausted nonsense statements and questions in the same big bucket of, well...not to put too fine a point on it, but it's a big bucket of crap.

It is a tedious cliché (and, unlike many clichés, it isn't even true) that science concerns itself with how questions, but only theology is equipped to answer why questions. What on Earth is a why question? Not every English sentence beginning with the word 'why' is a legitimate question. Why are unicorns hollow? Some questions simply do not deserve an answer. What is the colour of abstraction? What is the smell of hope? The fact that a question can be phrased in a grammatically correct English sentence doesn't make it meaningful, or entitle it to our serious attention. - R. Dawkins 

If you get it, you get it. If you don't, I am truly sorry. It's not my fault though. I didn't invent the invisible pink unicorn. I just think it's hilarious. And if you get it and you are mortified, I am sorry too. I'm going to bastardize RTJ to try and put an end to this story.

Yankee and the brave are here
Everybody hit the deck
We don't mean no harm
But we truly mean all the And we do not even mean disrespect